i need advice on how to satizfy a woman

how do i make a girl lyk me fo hu i am? :blush:

U start acting lyk hu u iz. Oh wait - that meanz that u iz hopelezz.

Or duz it?


:blush: :comme: :blush:

you haff to show her you think shez special, dis can be accomplished in several ways.

1.)random composition of panty-moiztening sheeyat on da 88

2.)sending of expensive roses (or alternatively, if your not fuckin Bill Gates, dandelions dipped in red ink)

3.)when ur around her pretend to accidentally haff an erection, n try n hide it while still makin it obvious dat you wanna bone her, but without lettin her know you did it purpose

4.)be yourself

5.)devote a forum to her shapely figuah

6.)nevah give up

7.)tell her you want to be da father of her children

8.)nothin says “good job” like a firm slap on the behind

9.)if she ssays nothings wrong, somethings wrong. if she tells you somethings wrong, somethigs really wrong.if she tells you somethings not funny, youd bettah not laugh your fuckin ass off

10.)if she’s a he, better luck next time

11.)dont tell her you just ‘got off’ while thinkin about her, its not as flattering as it soundz

12.)be someone bettah dan you are

13.)get a tattoo if her name on your cock, if her name is not ann, mia, or is more dan 3 lettahs long in general, get it on your arm

14.)give up

15.)you acn nevah really satizfy a woman, only make them less pissed at you

16.)two words: :dong:

17.)buy her chocolate

18.)nevah stalk her

20.)dont make her feel stupid by point out trivial sheeyat like bad grammar or numbering mistakes

21.)pretend lyk youre listening whenever she is talkin to you, n whenever she asks oyu “why arent you paying attention to me” just stare at her boobs for a while

22.) :comme: --> :lib:

23.)but not real chocolate though

24.)follow her everywhere to find out what she lyks, but dont let her know youre doing it

25.)if you like her, but are too affraid to tell her, and then she starts dating yourbest friend, n your fuckin bummed, but then she breaks up with him, so youre like “hot Dayum, shes available” but you wait 3 months to tell her, n then when you do shes like :i dont know if i like you back", n then another three months go by an you barely talk to her, n then when youe at one of oyure other friends weddings, you find out she is now back together with dat first friend, n then 3 months later theyre engaged, n now dere getting married in 2 months, dont fuckin tellhim youll be in his wedding cause hes an ass (FUCK DAT BITCH, TOO)

26.)where wuz i?

27.) oh, yeah :comme: --> :shrimp:

28.)dont let her catch you starin at her tits, no matter how nice dey are

29.)write a limmerick about how much you love her, or if youre lazy just a haiku

30.)well maybe if dey’re really big

31.)swedish penis enlarger

32.) :stop: is of the essence, dont delay, call today

oh,n is dere a particular chick u haff in mind, if so we need a fuckin pic decide if she iz worthy of your-bad-self

Well one thing is definite, you bettah not have an agenda (or at least she shouldn’t have the impression that you have an agenda) - but of course, that depends on what type of girl you’re looking for. 8)

dayum, i cant believe you guys got 2 pozts in while i was typin of da manual of love


The length of her name is not an issue for mofos.


furystone, whilzt i appreciate yo lizt - iznt it oxymoronical dat i haff to show her i think shez special in order fo her to lyk me

diz impliez dat women only lyk guyz to make demselvez feel gud

But there is one truth:


Use penis

I do know who u are… :comme:
juzt pretend to be someone else :lib:


two words:


:blush: :frowning:


i actually quite lyk the ladies, so i regress


da comme doez too, but da comme iz a bit shy n nervouz around chix

i feel ur pain 8)

take her to a club. Wait till she gets a bit pissed and starts to relax, den just hang out with her, chances are she’ll ask you to come dance with her (you must accept or she’ll find someone else!) or you can just try hitting on her there and then (but do it subtly otherwise you iz guaranteed to get nothing). Dis is da easiest method to get some. Dere iz a bit of a morality question if da chick iz wasted but otherwise dis iz strictly legit. 8)

EDIT: sheeyat, da advice iz not all dat relevant to da question.

hahahaha well, da sheeyat iz, im not juzt lookin fo a quick bone, da comme iz lookin fo love…


anotha thing - im scared of dancin n i haff neva approached a chick

yah. I’m not good at da love part. I suppose you’d have to have something in common with da chick. You’d basically have to hit it off when you first meet. Ugh I’ve got nothing.

Da dancing iz crucial sheeyat. I knew dis hot chick who asked me to dance with her like 10 timez but I kept denying her because I suck at dancing. Well needless to say dat some other mofo asked her to dance and she was practically getting with him when I left. She was fucking hot too. I was so stupid.

Da approaching a chick (and dancing) iz best done when you iz a bit pissed. There’s no way i could do either of them sober. Especially if I didn’t already know the chick. Da reason being dat you iz mo shy when you iz sober, when you iz semi-loaded you talk to anybody.