Hello piano lovers! 
Lola is excited to announce her very own online shop where you can purchase lots of cool goodies! 
For that special person in your life, why not visit my Amazon shop at
where you can find perfume, makeup, hair and skin care products all personally endorsed by 
I see I have my own emoji here, how exciting!
To get your hands on my special arrangements, you can go here
And if you really want to splash out, for a modest fee you can get your own personalised video complete with a message from me! 
These have been proving really popular, so please allow a couple of days for delivery! 
Lola xxx
Are there any sort of limits?
For example, if I give you a script to read which calls out Kevin Kenner’s playing for the average-bangy snooze fest (lacking legato as well) that it is, will you deliver?
Ahem asking for a friend!
How do I know you aren’t a cop?
Because the porn I watch only LOOKS illegal.
Kevin who? Never heard of him. Sure, but you have to keep the video off public social media.
Do you have something to hide 
Hm, gonna need some proof this is you, otherwise gonna azzume TM alt accunt.
Only my massive…
respect for women.
I think this iz da “secret servicez” page
pleaz PM me password ? 
niiice
The password is only held by site admin and a very few people I know irl. Not even Norman Lebrecht has been able to find it out and, off the record, he has spent a lot of time and money on my site 
Who is TM? Trump Management?
Yes. PM me for more details.
If we wait long enough, I’m sure a 
account will materialise on dasdc 
Lola… what can I get for $50?
This interaction - her invoice is in the mail.
Lola IS the merchandise
