New Alkan Video

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Sun, fun, and tanning oil abound in this experimental film hailing from Turkey. Sadly, you won’t be “giving thanks” for this offering from the orient. When it comes to great story telling, Alkan can, while Banu Alkan - can’t. Its a miss that won’t have you “Offenbach.”

The story of the beach romance is derailed by underlaying questions left unresolved by the filmmakers. Why is the lead visibly pregnant? Should she be drinking in that condition? Does she know the man kissing her? Are barrel shaped women the apotheosis of beauty in Islamic cultures? We may never know.

What we can know is this offering from Turkey lacks the stuffing to bring the family together this holiday season.

One mustache out of 5.

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This alkan video has a lady saying “feed the shorty fish” or “eat this soggy dish” (freud)

Damn… he has kind of a coded name for slut.

What does the name Alkan mean?

Alkan means “blood-red” (from Turkish “al” = red + “kan” = blood).