George W. was out jogging one morning along
the parkway when he tripped,
fell over the bridge railing and landed
in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get
to him, three kids, who were
fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was
so grateful he offered the kids
whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, “I want to go to
Disneyland.” George said, “No problem.
I’ll take you there on Air Force One”.
The second kid said, “I want a new pair
of Nike Air Jordan’s.” George said,
“I’ll get them for you and even have
Michael sign them!” The
third kid said, “I want a motorized
wheelchair with a built-in TV and
stereo headset!!”
Bush is a little perplexed by this and
says, “But you don’t look like you
are handicapped.”
The kid says, “I will be after my dad
finds out I saved your ass
from drowning!”
"While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they’re intelligent.
“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
She phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”
Tony Blair responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”
“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”
“Yes ma’am. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he’d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”
“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”
“Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
“Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?” Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course, you dumb ass.”
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!” And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb ass, It’s Tony Blair!”