da JazzPenis

Wassup biotches. Dis is the da new mofo on da block. I iz a jazz pianist but dey call me da jazz penis cuz I playz the jazz wit ma cock. Check dis recording of da JazzPenis stayin tru to hiz name and unleashing da improvisational fury upon da Charlie Parker’s “Dexterity”. It startz slow, but the penis eruptz before long.


I iz also no stranger to da clazzicalistics. check dis recording of ma bad self fukin’ with da Chopin 10/5



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Ha HAH! Dis some good ish right hurr. I gotta give it up for da copious skillz man!!! (I really don’t know why you’re here, but so long as you stay it’s mos def coo wit me!)

Tha Parker ish was tight I digged it. The 10/5 was as good as a few and mosdef betta than most; it’s jus so fresh and so clean. Too hot. 8)

BUT, the thing is 'round here iz that we sacrifice the integrity of pieces for sheer speed. You wanted to put SD status on that, you’d have have to shave off a lotta seconds (look at the sticky topics to see wut I’m talking 'bout).

Nondaless, you’ve most definitely dropped some beauty on us. 8)

Thanx broseph. I been playin’ the 10/5 since I wuz just a little penis.

It shows, there’s a lot of control in your 10/5. The improv lacks some ‘chops’, but it is an improv and lightyears ahead of anything mah-poor-bad-self could produce. 8)

In da name of all dat iz FURY, and in da SD spirit, my bad-ass self recorded da normally slow and beautiful scriabin 13/3 wif absence of pedal and dynamics in order to achieve da furious speed. Perhaps it falls a little short of da FURY, but dis iz as fast as my funky self could play it wif no practice 8)

Peep dis sheeyat


Da play time iz about 37 seconds. What do y’all biotches think?

Haha da Man do you doubt da chops of da jazzpenis???

Don’t make my bad-ass self unleash da WRATH :smiling_imp:

An u will know my name iz da lawd when I lay da vengeance upon dee 8)

u r a bit shit 8)


dats rite 8)

da denial stage iz ovah, da cocky stage beginz 8)

Skill. Welcome to da forumz. :wink:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH, u triple da thrahahahahahacooooooooz timew!

den da challenge iz set. 8)

Wat wuz da previous time by da thrahahahahahacooooooooz or whatever?

Da 13/3 :imp:
scriabin13-3.mp3 (606 KB)


i meant to say da thraco iz 3 timez az long, da thac iz actually about 10 timez longash den diz rec!

u r 1/10th of da timne, TRU SD!!!

tru sd?
I suspect da comme to invite random mofo to feel less sheeyat…


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Hahahaha dayum.

My azz spent an hour tryin to play dat shit as fast I could. 8)


don’t forget dat before all, da criteria iz da average nps + mofoness. Datz why using non-SD piece fo sdc audition haz alwayz been questionable fo da SDC jury

look as dis case law : da audition of da rach…

chopinfiles.com/oldforum/vie … =5073#5073

and, as u iz new, read da genesis book first:

chopinfiles.com/oldforum/vie … php?t=4335

u will find a solid benchmark list of recommended sdc piecez


hahahahaha da k-nar didn’t read da whole thread.

According to your link, da benchmark for da Chopin 10/5 is 1:30, and in mah bad-ass self’s first post, there was a link to a recording of it that clocked in at almost exactly that time, and the Jazzy P wasn’t even trying to play the sheeyat fast on dat one.

Da Scriabin 13/3 wuz for no otha reason den jus for fukin around. 8)