A selection (John Cage’s 4’33 not included):
Daim! Keep em coming. These are hilarious.
The classic ones to me are the set of La Monte Young’s Composition 1960. I suppose there’s some purpose behind them. Not sure what it is…
Haha, hilarious! 
literally cant breathe wtf?!?!
I’m told that Johannes Kreidler’s Piano Piece no.8 consists of the instruction “search youporn for piano”.
I knew I could get his “composition” performed!
His third piano piece contains instructions to trigger an electronic device to shine a laser pointer at part of the piano and make explosion noises. 
Yeah, I hate that sort of shit.
There were a lot of comp majors from my school who would act like that sort of gimmick was “genius”.
Then they would write their own “pieces” where you make noises using buckets filled with water or raping music stands TM style (okay not quite).
hahahaha
Found this sample of his oeuvre on YT:
Some bits are pretty cg though!
Pure genius. I liked Britney better than the original.
Try a JAV only porn search engine.
You’ll probably get a legit 10-2 attempt in there 
My fav. “piece” of the genius Johannes Kreidler is the opus for guitar where the performer is indeed having a “piece” of the guitar - and without any ketchup or mayonaise:
Here are a couple from composers who are otherwise taken seriously.
I also remember some youtube shit from a few years ago of some Japanese “composer” who wrote stupidly hard music that included playing with feet. Does anyone remember that?
/though this is perhaps more amusing:
Ahhh, da foot flop randomzly da VGP doez da BanjoKazooey theme with a foot flop
I vote da Foot Flop a viable technique fo da 88, tru
lachemann’s guero is a wonderful piece actually, dunno why it’s posted above, super musical, just not a ‘piano’ piece in the way you normally think about it
i bet you guys would love alexander schubert’s ‘wiki-piano’ haha
and you should add to it yourselves
Yo boringnezz iz wizzout bound
obviouz rape at 4’53
needz mo prax
Whut 88 brand is dat?