ziff vs. da doc

who wud win

  • da doc
  • ziff

0 voters

in da red cornah - ziff

weighin in at an impressive 230 lbs and showing impressive girth - dis contendah sure does pack a punch - blink - and you could end up with multiple fractures in 8 locations on yo body.
his one weakness howver (if you can call it a weakness) is dat he ALWAYS relies on sheer brute strength.

in da blue cornah - da doc

weighing in at a level 200lbs, dis what dis mofo lacks in natural girth - he makes up fo wif da classic asian porn star method - da way u use it countz mo.
dis mofo is calculatin, instead of randomly whackin yo ass - he will wait fo da rite moment - and economically unleash all his juice in 1 go.
da doc has one failing - occasionally he gets to excited before da final round and prematurely unleashes all his energy at once.

da 200lbs is da doc’s bodyweight - an additional 30lbs can be added when his penile girth is fully unleashed.

dis is a preview of da action -


i just asked da doc what he thinks of da upcomin duel -

all he did was laff in mah face

da defiant cockiness 8)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i predickt a 2nd round KO by da Ziff. and if dat doesnt happen, it will last all 15 rounds and da Doc will clinch it on decision. 8)

hahahaha, da doc cud use a shock tactic tho - he cud prematurely unleash his girth - and we all know what happens den…DAYUM

im gonna hafta go w/ the ziff on this one

give reasons 8)

respecfuli disagree, cus da Ziff will make da doc bifo da 1st round start.
Reason–in fact, da difference in da 230lbs vs 200lbs is dat da Ziff in fact is also 200lbs, but 30lbs take for bolz. Ha, imagine hou much sperm it produses per second–den hiz-MOFO-self did 2 notes, da nju batch of sperm ready to fire.

Ha! Da Doc wid his few ounces… nockdoun in hiz cornah befo round starts, 1s Ziff shouz his MOFO cock nd bolz.




controversial 8)

Da doc might unleash sum symphuric acid in da first round and send da Ziff straight to intensive care:

[url]DRE in Paris (06/12/04)]



dats rite

da doc makes hiz cumback wit dat sheeyat

Ha, controversial???

OKe, leme tel ur da litl story:

Wen Da Ziff woz eskaping from da Hungry, he got stuk in da wires nd hurt hiz hand. Everybodi nouz dat diz shit hapened???
Ha, yeeeah… but wot u dunno iz dat hou EXACTLI diz happened.
In fact, in da wires stuk both, his hand nd cock (wid bolz) (ha, no wonder–30lbs of pure beastiality!!!–RESPECCCCCCC 8) 8) ). Da Ziff (DA-ZIFF-DA-BIG-FIRE-COCK) had 2 think fast (ha, da mos important kwality of da tru virtuoso–abiliti 2 tink fast). So datz wot hi woz tinking:

I haff da choice of hurting my cock (wid bolz), o hand. Iff I hurt mah hand, I can play with my nose, feet or mah peniz, but iff I luz mah cock (wid bolz), I iz not da TRU-VIRTUOSO, DA-ZIFF-DA-BIG-FIRE-COCK animo, coz da Da-Tru-Virtuoso wid no cock (wid bolz) iz like bird wid no wings. Iff I 2 luz mah cock (wid bolz), how da fukk I iz 2 win dat mudafuckah Doc (wid hiz few ounces) in our competition? How da fukk I gonna unleash all mah fast reproducin manz juice–mah sperm? Fuckoff da hand!!!
Nd dat wos da rite desision, coz da Ziff can play piano widout hands, but Ziff cannot play piano widout bolz—datz why pipl nou him az: DA-TRU-VIRTOUSO-DA-ZIFF-BIG-FIRE-COCK

Datz Ziff!!! 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) [color=red][size=150] DA-ZIFF-DA-BIG-FIRE-COCK[/size] 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

Ha, now tel me iff da Doc could play piano wid no handz. Mah don tink so.


how cum we nevah knew diz?!?!




ziff playin wit ballz fo sho

but da question now iz

da ziff’s bollz - vs - da doc’z fiztz

Minutes before da bout, DA DOC iz caught hanging out wit da boyz backstage:



i havent knowingly heard THAt much by either of them (most of my music is DL’ed, not bought, and often the performer is mislabeled or not labeled at all). however, ive heard that totentaz by da ziff (i think it was) and that video where he plays the 10-1. da doc ive heard some alkan and some rach (i think).

i prefer when da ziff goes fast than when da doc goes fast, personally, regardless of which one is truly faster. da ziff’s playing is also more lyrical imo more often than da doc’s.

EDIT: theyre both tru hipsters tho 8)


Da Hamby understands da true embodiment of da Hoc.


hahahaha, da hoc? 8)

“One of da hardest things to do iz write simply, and play simply, which Mozart requires” (Byron Janis).

True, some try to mask their incompetence by writing shit so hard no one can possibly play it, so noone could ever find out how fucking shite it sounds.

hahahahaha, da sorabji iz actually wikid